Father's Day

Father's day is an interesting day for me. I have an AMAZING dad. seriously. The absolute best! And my hubby, I knew he would be THE BEST dad to our kids before we even had Sky. I feel so blessed to have these men in my life.

We spent our Father's day hanging out, went to church, and I got to spend my evening with Josh and my dad. We grilled, hung out and had a fun time together. It was the best to be with both of these amazing men.

But in the back of my mind I couldn't help but think of Father's Day weekend two years ago. Josh and I were living in Park City and had planned a trip down to Salt Lake City to go to the temple. We were about to leave, when I started bleeding. I was pregnant. I didn't know if a little blood was okay or not. I texted my sister, the only person (besides Josh) who knew I was pregnant. We drove down to the temple anyway, and the bleeding got worse. I knew I was miscarrying. My first pregnancy and I was losing my baby. I had to do other things that day for work, so I couldn't just go home. I had to face the world of friends, co workers, family and I could barely keep it together. Surrounded by people and I felt so alone. The next morning we went to church and I could barely stand hearing about Father's Day. I made the call to my parents. I tried to just say Happy Father's Day, but I just cried and cried instead. I had to tell my parents I was pregnant and that I lost the baby all in the same day. It wasn't fair. It hurt so bad, both physically and mentally. After some time I felt peace in the pain. I knew everything was going to be okay. But it still hurt. It's a hurt everyone feels differently. One that is hard to describe and one that not everyone can understand. People might think, well you got pregnant again so it shouldn't matter. But it was still a loss, my loss. One that I will never forget. I hug my Sky a little tighter and am so grateful to have her in my life.

I hope you all were able to celebrate the amazing men in your life. Whether they are your father, your hubby, your friend, your uncle, your grandpa, whether you have kids or not, I hope you were able to appreciate those you have in your life! I know I was filled with a lot of gratitude for the men and people in my life.