just another day

Shirt: VS PINK  Pants: JCrew   Shoes: Sperry Topsider from Nordstrom

I have some words for school right now. People probably think I'm insane for saying some of the things that I am about to say... But here it goes anyway. I have 17 credits this semester. I am working as much as I am allowed right now which is about 17 hours a week. And yet, most days I AM SO BORED! Not that I'm not busy... I am, but it's mostly pure boredom. How can this be you wonder? Well, I wonder the exact same thing. Last semester I had TONS of homework to do. Tons of writing and tons of reading. But I absolutely loved last semester! I learned so much and my classes were so interesting! While this semester I barely have any reading, I do have a lot of Spanish homework, and I have just a few 2 page papers through out the semester. This is where people are probably getting annoyed with me, right? Who complains about not having a lot of homework! It's not the fact that I do not have a lot of homework that bugs me I don't think. I think it is the fact that even when I am in class, I'm prepared for class and I am attentive and listening, and class is still boring. I feel like I am learning nothing new, not being inspired by the lectures, and am just wasting my time. I am paying good money to be here, so come on teachers, inspire me!!

I debate with myself whether this is a fault of mine, or if the class really just doesn't have much to offer me, and I still convinced that it is the latter. I am at a great University where I can learn so much and be inspired to do better and be better and explore the world and soak up knowledge and yet I sit in class wondering why I am there and why is nothing even remotely interesting. Why am I not being challenged at all? I think I complain about being challenged or pushed beyond my limits in general, then again who doesn't? But in reality, I am so glad that I have those things that push me to do and be better. In those moments that I feel like I just can't do it, or where I think its too much, I am able to pull through and get things done. And then after I have struggled and worked hard to get through those times, I look back and I think wow, I did that. And when the next thing comes along, because it always does, I have a little more confidence in myself and my abilities and I keep on learning and growing.

It really is an amazing process and I feel like I am missing out on something. Maybe its good that I have more time because I have been able to get to the gym more often and explore some more hobbies. Maybe my struggle this semester is to find meaning in the seemingly meaningless classes that I have. I am trying to keep a good attitude, interact in my classes and learn and be inspired. What am I going to do when I don't have any of these classes at all? After all, I do graduate after one more semester. Maybe the point of my "blah" mood is that I actually need to be working on my relationship with God, because school ends, but my learning will never stop and my relationship with God should always be my number one priority.

Well now that you've heard me rant about the rut that I am in, I hope that you all think for yourself about your  challenges and what they mean to you, and about the easy times, and what those mean to you as well. But overall I hope you know that God is on your side through it all. And those moments where you think that can't go any further, God is the one who carries you and builds you up to make those hard times you had to endure a strength in your life.


I found these quotes from our Prophet of the LDS church, President Thomas S. Monson, and I think they are at the root of my thoughts today and contain some valuable answers.

On Being Spiritually Prepared

A Foundation of Faith

“If we do not have a deep foundation of faith and a solid testimony of truth, we may have difficulty withstanding the harsh storms and icy winds of adversity which inevitably come to each of us.

“Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order for us to be tested, we must face challenges and difficulties. These can break us, and the surface of our souls may crack and crumble—that is, if our foundations of faith, our testimonies of truth are not deeply embedded within us.” ¹

Learn Lessons of the Past

“In the search for our best selves, several questions will guide our thinking: Am I what I want to be? Am I closer to the Savior today than I was yesterday? Will I be closer yet tomorrow? Do I have the courage to change for the better? …

“The years have come and the years have gone, but the need for a testimony of the gospel continues paramount. As we move toward the future, we must not neglect the lessons of the past.” ²